I am writing this as a free service to the cell phone using public.  Wherever I go, I see people whispering into their cells phones, cupping their hands over their mouths and the device to avoid having their conversations intrude on the people around them.  It’s a nice gesture, but it’s completely unnecessary!

Most people who use cells phones don’t seem to realize that when you use one of these devices, a cone of silence descends over you.  You can talk as loud as you want about all of the trivial events of your life, and all the trivial events in the lives of your friends and relatives, without bothering anyone around you.  No one can hear you when you talk on a cell phone.  Just let yourself go!

I just think it’s so sad that the great majority of cell phone users don’t seem to get this.  There is no need to go into a corner and mumble into your phone.  You’re on a bus?  Just talk away at full volume.  On a street corner, in a restaurant, at an airport?  Same thing.  The rest of us can’t hear you.

I know it is not going to be easy for a lot of you to make the transition.  Best advice is to start slowly and build up your volume, length of call, and vacuity of subject matter slowly.  In a week, you’ll have the hang of it and you’ll be talking at full volume while you are sitting in public places, standing in line, or walking through malls.

And it won’t bother anyone, because of the cone of silence.  We can’t hear you!